The Fear of being gay, HOCD

fear of being gay hocd

Homosexuality is a variant of human sexual behaviour which represents more or less 10% of the world’s population. Its social visibility depends on the laws and customs of each country, therefore it is normal that in liberal Europe it is more normalized than in other parts of the planet where religion has more institutional and psychological weight.

With this introduction I want to be clear that homosexuality constitutes normal human behaviour. Differences lie in how each human lives with this, whether in conflict with him/herself which leads to repression, or with a psychopathic promiscuity or with a natural and serene tranquility which seeks out stable relationships with those of the same sex.

That said, the question is why are there young men, and some not so young, who are heterosexual who live with fear that “they like men” also known as HOCD. Here at IPITIA we have treated many patients with this obsession, who were being tormented by it.

Is there a real repressed homosexual tendency?

In this disorder, it would seem to the untrained eye that there is a repressed or blocked homosexual tendency which is trying to express itself by using recurring mental images, or by moving the person to the point of creating an internal conflict when they see an attractive man in the street, in a film or in a bar.

But this is not the case. Here I will simplify what is actually happening. This “fear of being homosexual” indicates a “lack of boldness”, a tendency to be cowardly, a strong need to agree with everyone and to submit to others. On a subconscious level within the heterosexual man, the homosexual images, I have come to understand through my therapeutic work, are linked to a “fear of living, of being, of expressing oneself and above all of positioning oneself with firmness and clarity”.

Fear of affection

Linked to this there is also a fear of affection with people of the same sex. That means we normally find young people who are in this situation, with their hidden fears, while not having any affectionate physical links (hugs for example) with other men.

During the therapeutic work, we try to push this heterosexual man to live life with audacity, self-assuredness and decisiveness, while trying to encourage him to express his affection in a more visible way with other people, both men and women.

This is what makes people overcome their HOCD.

Damián Ruiz

Clinical Psychologist

Jungian Analyst

Director of IPITIA